Wedding Planning Tips for the Groom

Congratulations groom! Not just for getting engaged, but for being an involved partner. Unless you two have already purchased a house or started a family, your wedding may be your first major project you’re doing together so I’m glad to see you’re eager to work on this as a team. Below you’ll find several tips I have for you. Some may apply, some may not. Check them out and use what can help you.

1. Be involved: Regardless of the size of the wedding or length of engagement, planning a wedding is hard work and having more than one person on the job is very helpful. Each couple is different so you’ll need to find your level of involvement, but at the very least you’ll have a few jobs, get them done. You may even be there every step of the way, good for you. Regardless of how much or how little, let your bride know you’re there to help. It is your wedding too.

2. Find a balance: I foreshadowed this already, but your first challenge will be to find your balance. Somewhere between your bride, your future mother-in-law, the maid of honor, and the bride’s maids there will be you. I don’t know your bride, but you do. Does she want and expect your input on everything? Does she want you to just show up at the right time? Do you want to be in on every decision? If you said yes to the latter, just remember that the other people mentioned above, want to have a say as well. Regardless of how much you want to be there for every step (and I encourage this) don’t forget that mother-in-laws and your bride’s friends are excited about helping out too!

3. She’s the captain: Chances are your bride has thought about the wedding more, has had more social pressure, and feels more obligated to create this wedding than you. I’m not saying you don’t care and I may be wrong about your situation, but more often than not, women have spent more time thinking and dreaming of this day than the average Joe. Therefore, she’s in the lead. Be involved, voice your opinion, engage in deep analytical debate if necessary, but at the end of the day, step back and give her the decision.

4. Handle your business: At the very least handle your business. There are certain jobs that traditionally fall onto the groom and his family. At the very least, take care of the ground work. These jobs usually include taking care of the rehearsal dinner, the honeymoon, and your groomsmen. I’m not saying surprise her will all this stuff, but make some calls, get online, find a few good places or good prices and show her all the work you did. It is a great way to be involved and support your bride.

5. Don’t be a stick in the mud: Okay, okay, so some wedding planning necessities are not the most masculine, I get it, but that doesn’t give you the right to ruin it for your bride. You might not know anything about flowers or color combination (maybe you do) but if your bride expects you to be there to meet the florist, get there, give your opinion, and do it all with a smile on your face.

6. Find the fun: Planning a wedding can have a lot of details and a lot of stress. I want you to find the fun. Here are a few ideas: a) Schedule several cake tastings. Yes that is exactly what it sounds like. You go to bakeries and you taste a bunch of cake for FREE! It’s awesome! b) Schedule appointments to see great venues even if you can’t afford them. Schedule appointments at museums or wineries to get beautiful tours, interesting information, or even free wine tastings. c) Create a website. There are several wedding websites to help you do this but my favorite is www.mywedding.com. I used this when I got married a few months ago and loved it! You can read more about wedding websited by reading my blog entry entitled "Building a Wedding Website."

7. Get away from wedding stuff: Do you and your bride a favor and plan weekly dates or activities that have nothing to do with planning a wedding. If you’re in the midst of planning a big wedding then making sure you have some time away from it is crucial. Weddings are a lot of work but they should be fun too, if you’re too wrapped up in them, the fun diminishes quickly.

8. It’s your wedding too! After all this, don’t forget it is your wedding too. Take a little ownership, be a part of its creation, and put some of yourself into it. I promise you won’t regret it. If you still want a little more help to prepare I have listed a few books that might help. Click the titles to go directly to the amazon.com link.

Groomology: What Every (Smart) Groom Needs to Know Before the Wedding. This book is pretty good. It doesn’t rely on a lot of silly or outdated stereotypes of men being neadrathals who can’t even pick out a nice tuxedo. It reads a lot like a novel and has several good tips. It’s an enjoyable little book.

The Groom's Instruction Manual: How to Survive and Possibly Even Enjoy the Most Bewildering Ceremony Known to Man. Admittedly, this book does use a lot of stereotypes and assumptions but still offers many solid pieces of advice and very basic descriptions of what a groom needs to do. I recommend you use what applies and ignore the rest, but it is still a pretty handy guide.